Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
