Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
