saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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