How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
