he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
