He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
