they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
