Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
