she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
