how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
