Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just want nice things and good sex
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
