Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
