Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
