I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
