Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
