we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
