NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
