i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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