it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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