u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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