i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
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