So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
