I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
this boner is exhausting
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
