so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
