He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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