Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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