just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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