Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
