: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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