I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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