i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
