yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize