omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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