so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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