Too much gin, very little bucket
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
