he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
