But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
