I've blown a few things in my day
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
