Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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