My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
