I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dignity is for republicans.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
