you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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