whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
