well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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