Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
