i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
