i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
