I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize