is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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