never play flip cup with pint glasses
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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