you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Holy shit dude........stairs
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
