I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
